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A few days ago I shared our exciting news on Instagram – we will be traveling as a family to the UK + France this summer! And by summer I mean (gulp)…in two weeks time (it happened very fast – we’re tagging along on my husband’s work trip). We are beyond thrilled to have this opportunity, and feel so very lucky. However, with only have a few weeks to plan, everything is rushed and I’ve been thrown into a state of panic. Not only because I’m a Type A personality and would prefer to have months of time to map out every detail of our trip, but I also suffer from GAD (also known as generalized anxiety disorder). In addition to my daily struggles with it, I’ve experienced crippling travel anxiety throughout the years. It seems a fitting time to discuss this in more detail, as May happens to be Mental Health Awareness Month.

I was twelve when I was diagnosed with the disorder, after having frequent panic attacks at night, making myself physically sick from worry, and missing many days of school because of my issues. It was a tumultuous time for our family, and in retrospect, it makes complete sense that my anxiety surfaced then. Our family was no stranger to mental health issues: I witnessed both of my parents suffering from anxiety and depression from a young age. Thankfully though, we always discussed it openly. However, when my symptoms began, a diagnosis was slow to emerge since I was “just a kid”. I was directed to listen to tapes of Enya on a walkman at bedtime (her Watermark album is gold), and practice deep-breathing techniques and meditation. While it definitely didn’t eradicate my anxiety, I learned to cope and work through stressful situations. As I got older, it became harder to handle and I was prescribed anti-anxiety medication.

It was around that same age when I flew for the first time. The experience was filled with wonder and awe – I loved the speed and rush of adrenaline during takeoff, the heavenly view from above the clouds, and watching the ground come at you during landing. They invited me into the cockpit and I was given a special pin to commemorate the occasion (ah, the good ol’ days). I do, however, remember being overwhelmed with questions and concerns: How can this giant hunk of metal fly? Why can’t I see what the pilot is doing? What happens if we have to fly through a storm? Will I die if we crash? Is the air flowing? I feel like I can’t breathe. This seatbelt is not tight enough. Will my luggage get lost? What was that noise?! Even then, at age twelve (ish), my anxiety consumed me and cancelled out any positive feelings I had about flying.

Fast forward twenty-eight years, and I still break into a cold sweat walking down the jet bridge. I wish my anxiety was just about flying – in reality, it involves every aspect of travel (to include dealing with crowds, breaking routines and staying in unfamiliar places, to name a few). I’ve tried everything – from meditation to medication. I’ve changed my diet, exercise regularly, and am more focused on natural remedies now (thank you CBD). I’m grateful for the open discussion on social media, and relate strongly to what @jengotch has shared about her travel anxieties (among many other inspirational folks). I’m proud to say that I’ve never let my anxiety stop me from going places. As hard as it can be, it’s worth it to see the world, and introduce my children to it. I’m constantly pushing through my fear and working hard to improve. Do you suffer from anxiety, and if so, how does it affect you when you travel? I would love to hear about what has (or hasn’t) worked for you. Thank you in advance for sharing – it’s important for us all to keep the mental health conversation going.