birthday perspective

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The surgeon called me on Friday. I had just dropped the kids off at school and figured he was calling to check on how my wound was healing (for those of you who follow me on Instagram, I shared a little bit about my recent excision in Stories). He asked if I was driving, and then he asked when I would be home—and then I knew. Although the next thirty minutes were a bit of a blur, my shaking hands managed to scribble the following random yet oh so heavy words on the back of my daughters girl scout sign-up form: pathology. sarcoma. rare. CANCER. I called my husband and he rushed home.

I was unsure if I should share this kind of news here, but then I realized…if this isn’t what community is for, what is? Tomorrow is my 39th birthday, and despite what you might be thinking, it will be a happy one. I feel good, despite this scary diagnosis. I don’t have any signs or symptoms, beyond the scar on my chest. I know how lucky I am, as this cancer is treatable (in most cases) and has a very high survival rate. To quote one of my kids’ favorite movies…”yesterday is history, tomorrow is a mystery, but today is a gift – that’s why it’s called the present.” – Master Oogway

Thank you in advance for your support –  I promise to share more as it unfolds, as much is still unknown. For now, I’m going to love my family a little harder, live life a little fuller, and eat an obscene amount of birthday cake. Ok that’s not the truth, it just sounded great – I’ve actually been eating keto for almost a year now and have never felt better. Oh, the irony.

P.S. you’ll find more information on my type of cancer here + a health update here

summer in the berkshires

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I’m not sure I love any place more than New England in the summer. Ok ok, maybe France at any time of year, but I digress. If you follow me on social, you might know that our summer got a jumpstart thanks to a leak in our apartment that required us to vacate for repairs. After getting over the initial shock and frustration, and thanking our lucky stars for having great insurance (shout out to USAA), we decided to make the best of our “vacatetion”. With only a week to make arrangements, I did a deep dive into Airbnb and was thrilled to find a dreamy cottage in the heart of the Berkshires. Stretching along the western border of Massachusetts and bordering the Hudson Valley, Vermont and Connecticut, it’s a perfect setting for adventure. Well worth the drive up from Pennsylvania – we exhaled the moment we arrived.

 

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six (times two)

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These two are officially six…can you believe it?! We kept things simple this year and had a lovely French-inspired birthday picnic at a favorite local park. We got lucky with the weather and managed to avoid the crazy hot temperatures. We tend to shy away from outdoor activity when it gets to be over 80 degrees, if I’m being honest. Why did we have July babies?! I’m kidding – Cancers are the best (both my parents are that sign as well) and the fact that they were born late on the 13th means that they were technically born on le 14 juillet, aka Bastille Day to us (the French don’t call it that). It was a Francophiles dream come true to have my babies born on such a significant French holiday – it was an unplanned emergency c-section, and it was fate. You can read their birth story here, should you be interested. Back to the picnic…

 

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dc with kids

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magnolia blooms D.C.

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We made a last minute decision to tourist around Washington D.C. with the kids for spring break – along with the rest of the world, ha. The cherry blossom festival was happening, despite the fact that those beauties hadn’t bloomed yet. However, the magnolias were in peak bloom, and we found the most beautiful grouping of them in the Enid A. Haupt garden. Situated on the Smithsonian grounds, it’s on the way to the museums and I highly recommend strolling through, any time of year. It was a bustling spot of course, with everyone jockeying for position to get their best gram. I managed to capture this one despite having one adult and two five-year-olds who weren’t as keen to spend the morning blossom hunting. Thankfully they indulged me with a few photos in the garden before we went off to see the sites…

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on gratitude

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The holiday season brings with it a range of emotions – but this year, more than ever, I feel overwhelmed with gratitude. There is nothing in the world more important than our family: the two little humans holding my hands, and my husband (having a rare turn behind the camera). While we have so much to be thankful for, there has been a dark cloud over us for quite a few years – some of which I’ve shared here, and some that I’ve kept private. At times it has felt hopeless, like everything was an uphill battle. You might be surprised by this since most (not all) of what I share publicly are our happiest, and most memorable, moments. For those of us who share pretty content on the internet, we often walk a fine line between sharing too much and not sharing enough. Please know that while part of me would like to share it all, some things need to be kept safely guarded. Maybe someday I’ll be able to elaborate, but for now it’s still too fresh.

For the first time in years, I feel like we can (cliché alert) finally see the light at the end of the tunnel. We’ve learned the hard way that the only way out is through, so to speak. We were dealt a serious dose of humility, and have a different (and healthier) perspective on life. If you’re currently fighting a battle of your own (aren’t we all), please know this: it will get better. The memory of it will stay with you of course, but the darkness should not. I have a bold proposition for you this Thanksgiving…try to be thankful for the battle. That may sound easy for me to say, now that we’re on the other side, but it’s still challenging for us as well. However, with every struggle, there is a hard-earned lesson, and sometimes a beautiful gift, even though it can take some time for it to be realized. When you look for the silver lining, look for the meaning…you might be surprised what you discover. Wishing you a holiday season filled with hope, love, and gratitude.